Monet

Escher

Great Wave

Comedians, the modern philosopher

I've always had large part in my heart for comedy. Doing it, appreciating it, seeing different kinds of it--everything. So It shouldn't be a surprise when I say that I've tried to analyze why before. Not just the structure, timing and pacing of what makes a good joke good and a bad joke bad but so much more. I commonly think of them as philosopher's of our time with a little background in psychology. They take situations and ask "why?" they ponder it aloud with the audience to question: people, events motives and much more. The answers aren't always important but the journey to find them are always enjoyable. Hoping you get a good comedian. They'll analyze a person a thing with the common thoughts that everyone else experiences for those few seconds but they're able to articulate in detail about it--speculate.

I've been called out on my uncanny ability to make loop holes in my arguments but I think that's fine depending on the situation. Why is the most useless question people can ask themselves. Why did this tragedy happen, why did my car get stolen? It doesn't change the situation but people demand an explanation. So yes in those situations why is the most useless question you could ask. But that doesn't stop it from being my favorite in every other situation.

the last laugh,

Sam E.

Comedy stylings

Image collage part 2

Image collage

Days go By

Creativity

Everyone aspired to be creative, or should. To create something from your mind and make it come to fruition is the most rewarding thing you can do as a human. Some people create beautiful sonata's, ballets, speeches or even jokes. None better than the other, just different. There's a time to laugh and a time to cry. I like to feel creative, it's when I really feel alive. Not in the traditional sense, I'm no painter but I can find joy in making music, making a comic book or even writing a really good essay. Something that I can be proud in, something that'll make me proud of myself. Even these two 24 hour quite signs I feel like I could really do something with, I guess we'll see. Where will I find that feeling of rewarding creativity next? I feel so accomplished whenever it happens. I was the hurt one not long ago and strangely that put me in a position of power. Impotent power. But now I'm the one doing the hurting and I don't feel powerful at all, I'm seeking approval. It's probably a metaphor for real life, hurting someone never makes you better, if anything it hurts you just as much. Turn the other cheek. The weak can never forgive--forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.

Moving Mountains,

Sam E.

Wonderwall lyrics

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

And Dance

Here's to the Night...

Sitting here on the last Thursday of the semester....with my roomie, just hanging out. About to go to sleep, I had some fun last night though. Studied psych today, twice and went to class. I had it blow up in my face, I don't know how much she knew but she definitely knew something. I couldn't defend myself completely but I knew I should have told her. At the same time she was at fault. I don't want to make this a topic of discussion for days. it's not worth it. There's no room change I could do right now but hopefully it'll be found out by then. I'm not running away from something, I'm running to something. I don't know completely what it is yet but I surely want to find something new. This class is almost over but I have my internship coming up.


pondering,

Sam E.

Hiroshige Utagawa Uikyo-e Mishima sketch

Mishima Japan part 3

Japan part 2

Japan part 1

Facing Finality

When things are done, they're done. Sometimes Finality can be bad, the loss of something or someone knowing that it will never happen again. Other times it's refreshing, knowing that you'll never have to face a bad situation like that again. I'm conflicted now--the finality of breaking up, of realizing that someone is no longer mine, even if I was the one that initiated it. But a loss isn't immobilizing, I've already experienced the worst one I could have. This is nothing in comparison to it. That doesn't stop it from stinging a little bit. But then I'll realize that I have a better girl, that everything happens for a reason and I'm better off this way. I made up my mind and I'm sticking to it. I just took a final, I really like PB.

off,

Sam E.

Greek Video

New York Heritage

Turkey Video project

Forgiveness

We're told to turn the other cheek and forgive one and other when someone trespasses you. I agree with these things completely but it they're being put to the test lately. Each and every one of them. Ghandi said two things that really resonate with me..."The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." and "Hate the sin, love the sinner" The ideas I've grasped and clung to so feverishly, ones that aren't my own, one that I've held in esteem to the person I am. Now that I've written the idea now I feel so much more comfortable. Like everything is put out into the open, at least for me. And now I want to embrace this challenge of myself, of my person. I have the fear that if confronted I might give into my desire. But how does that make me any different from him? I don't think it does and I want to separate myself from those negative actions. I have to rise above that. All pain comes form attachment and once the attachment is severed so the pan will go with it.

wising up,

Sam E.

Deception

So many things are involved in deception, mainly negative ones. Pride and attachment come to mind predominantly. I've been deceived, my pride has been damaged and now my attachment becomes apparent. I have to question myself and somethings. Why am I attached? Is it fondness or just plain routine? I know I wasn't happy with her, I know all the faults but I can't helped feeling hurt, something that was once mine is mine no longer. The fact that I gave someone my trust, without thinking twice and they went back on it. Looked me in the face, shook my hand and did the exact opposite of he said. Enough about the negative, I'm the person who succeeds over that. I've been through worse. Like a phoneix rising from the flames, from adversity and from pain. Normal people would do this or that in my situation but I'm not normal, my emotional awareness my discipline and everything else that I am...strength. Can't be stopped or immobilized by this, I'm better than that and this! I know who I am and everything is within the power of my mind, my attitude towards life is the most important decision I could make. Remember:

You are,

Sam Anzer

Image ideas

Made this for my aunt for her birthday.

Friday

I bought my ticket to Japan. I guess this means I'm going, to another country, for a month, by myself. When it's put like that it seems daunting and kinda scary. But I have nothing to lose...except money, but not even really. A money problem isn't a problem at all, just a matter of moving it from one place to the other or getting more of it. Putting more hours in. Speaking of, I really need a job. Badly. Some sort of income is really needed. I want to work, I want to have many different jobs so I could have more character and stories when I grow older to tell my children about. I realized I'm living vicariously for my unborn son when before I was living to make my mom proud. I wonder if I still am, I know I still am actually but my ephemeral and finite mind isn't able to grasp that concept. I want in. I want out.

I don't know,

Sam E.

Rep

utation?resent?ublican? Maybe a little bit of all of those. Gotta figure out these money difficulties, my mom always said money problems were never a problem. Just a matter of getting more or putting it from one place to another. Speaking of, my CD is done this week as well. I'm adjusting...to responsibility to growing up for lack of a better word. It's not something to be afraid of and I think I'm maturing quite nicely. All I have to do right now is get a decently good GPA and show it to my family and friends and I'm considered a success. But If I don't then what do I have to show for all the nothing I've done, for all the video-games I've played and parties I went to. Which In reality isn't that much. I can't make excuses about my postulation or any of the other things that might have gotten in my way for me getting good grades this semester. I just have to try and salvage whatever is left and do my best.

best around,

Sam E.

Continuing

I'm continuing with my blog. Still got a whole quarter of the way to go. I'm proving successful in what I wanted but it's a struggle. I focus on one and the other falls behind. I still have to find my balance, my middle path. I switched my room to suite, and my suite mates are Alan and Chris. I just hope the other person isn't an RA. I think there's plenty of good times to be had and I think the living situation is a step in the direction of the real world. The whole concept of sharing a bathroom and kitchen and these living spaces, really seems worthwile and makes me want to come back next semester. Plus there's a lot of distractions on this side of campus with the Lambdas here and all. Fun, but a distraction nonetheless. I also payed my deposit and bought my plane ticket to Japan, it's official. I'm going!

going...gone

Sam E.

70

It's hard to believe it's 70 posts already. Just thinking of that gives me a weird feeling. Accomplishment for my task, fear that the semester is almost over and eagerness to finish. I have more work to do in this class besides keeping up with my blog, I still have to work on some models and keep with everything I have to do like processing and movies. It's funny how things can be useful later, I'm going to make my resume with the wave. I really appreciate my professor for making me do that all that time ago. That's a sense of practical work that has really payed off, or will soon. I heard they check blogs for jobs. Is mine up to par?

curious,

Sam E.

Monkey town

Falling behind on my blogs there's been a lot to catch up on. Monkey town was great. I came in not knowing anything and jumping in head first into something offered to me. I don't know how rewarding it was for the sense of my future but it was good fun and I did learn some stuff and some things about myself too. I VJ'd, I was introducing videos and music and images. I haven't worked it a while and it felt like work but in a good way. People wanted something of me, they relied on me and looked to me for an answer that they needed. I was sweating and it was good to have that feeling again. To be busy in a short sense rather than a long one. I say this in the sense of how I'm busy because there is always a paper or something else I could be writing but obviously I don't. But it's good to be busy for a short period of time, clock out and then go home. I find it a lot less stressful. I want to work on my resume.

working,

Sam E.

preview of fighting entropy

My first movie

cheers,

Sam E.

Renegade

This might be the last blog for a little while. Professor Baldwin says that we have to make graphic novels in place of the blogs. He want 7 graphic novels. I can't just randomly do them about family or something broad, I need a panel to jump off of. A push in the right direction and I'll start running...or soaring. I know it. I'm going to think of and brain storm some concepts quickly. Murder mystery, more mythological based entries. In Japanese, chinese or any other mythology since I briefly covered some Greek ones. I'll improve it with a title page and a little more back story. Creation I think is the best thing a person can do with them self. Making a piece of their self in a different medium for everyone to view and take a part in.

creating,

Sam E.

time to say good bye

Late. Very late. So much to do. I'll get it done in the morning. I just wanted to say I got something done but I've only done two blogs. I'm going to keep going. Am I becoming more of what I want to be now? Everyday I feel it closer? I'm growing in the way I want but losing in other ways. School is important, get your head in the game. A friend of mine had a tattoo of the golden ratio, I learned about that in class. I felt slightly accomplished. I want that feeling, I don't want to struggle, I want to be more responsible. I don't want to be fighting this up hill battle all the time. Like Atlas...what a terrible fate. of course now we know it's gravity but pshhhh.

ethos,

Sam E.

Week-end

What an eventful week end. I missed out doing a lot of blogs and I'm behind again. Where's my drive? I know where it is, in a different subject. Not a school related one but one that involves a lot of learning none the less. Which is more rewarding I wonder. One might have instant results---not really. They both involve a lot of work but one I have an intense interest in and the other, is interesting. I shouldn't be focusing on one or the other, I mean one of the things I learned is if you have the confidence you can know when to say no and when other things are more important. keep that in mind Sam. You have a very big week coming up with all this monkey town stuff. Follow your dreams, don't be scared of your own success.

get em' tiger

Sam E.

Blogging

Behind on the blogs and in class. Professor Baldwin said we could subsitute a blogs for manga or comics in the blogs instead. That sounds like a great idea and I am always trying to extend my portfolio or resume. I usually need that push in the right directiona dn then I could start running. I have some really great ideas that I want to get off the ground. I know when I have that inspiration and drive I could do anything with creativity. I have a great idea for an app for the app store. An application that teaches you how to be a man. I would be giving my ideas on where to shop what to watch and how to think to be a man in the 21st century. I have 10 categories lined up, each very in-depth but also very loose. I like to think of this idea as, staying on the outside of the inner loop. Not too much of one thing, finding the middle path. Balance

there's much to it,

Sam E.

1up

Another life in video-games. Sounds a bit melo dramatic for the title of a blog, I'm picturing being interpreted as wanting another life. Which isn't the case, I think of it more as a revitalization. But therein lies the problem--interpretation, sometimes can lead to great opinions and thought and other times it can be used to further ignorance. Elias my brother just came back from Iraq, he slept over my tiny dorm room. We reminsced about old times, played video-games, told stories, talked about girls and he slept on the couch. He taught me some martial arts stuff and I told him I would tell him about sex since he hasn't had it in over a year. It's really good to have him back, he changed a little bit but that's something you have to expect. I still see the same guy I grew up with for the past 19 years. He's family.

Family is important to have, I didn't put it at any value before but now that I...don't have a big family on this earth.


You are,

Sam E.

Big

It was always a favorite movie of mine, a young boy wishes he was older and bigger. He gets his wish and immediately has to deal with all the problems of finding food, shelter and a job as an adult. Along with his friend he gets a great job and conquers part of the business end of the toy and entertainment world and lives out a lot for his dreams. he reluctantly goes back to being little. this gives us the fantasy that most of us desire--to be older when we're young and to be younger when we're old. I wonder about those things a lot lately. How has my age progressed, when will I stop being young, or youthful? Will I ever feel the oppression of society that forces you to grow up? Or rather grow down. Either way I just have to see where this road is going to take me but have to find my own way along.

that's all,

Sam E.

Corn Flakes

Professor Baldwin said I should be doing my blog even when I'm eating my corn flakes on sunday. It is sunday but I haven't ate my corn flakes. Today was so momentous and I'll be delving into detail in all the blog days I missed. I read one of the plays I had to but otherwise didn't do any work that I had to. But thats not really much to do, what should I do to reduce this dissonance? I read a quote earlier today that I discussed with kerry, Doubt is not the end of knowledge. It's the beginning. I found it to be completely true. Do I really exist, is the sky really blue? An unexamined life isn't worth living. David always brings up a counter point for that but I can't remember it now, a bit bias perhaps but who cares. Life's short.

get money,

Sam E.

Under Zealous

Or am I over zealous about the wrong things? All I've been thinking about is Florida and how I can't wait to go on vacation there with my friends. I still have a lot of school work and possibilities that are waiting to be taken care of. I have to seize them myself, this could be my biggest break ever and I'm not doing anything because my mind is elsewhere, trying to focus. Is that usually what I'm battling with? So many stimuli and I'm trying to focus on the one that matters the most but is the least appealing. Just this entry alone has taken me over 30 minutes because I'm distracted. The tv, music and people are in my room. I'm even surprised I got this far actually but now it must be time for class. I'm going do re-design this thing, it's kinda homey, or rather homely and bland. Put some videos or something on it, maybe a few links to a few pictures and finish up my project.

CARPE DIEM,

Sam E.

Search

Keeping up with my entries even though I didn't do as many as I should have over the weekend. Still looking for a job, this economy is hindering the process. Or is is just my plain laziness? I'm sure there are jobs to be had and money to be made somehow, right now I don't know how. I'm working on my movie as I write this. I thought it would be a grand engrossing project of mine like the music I made or similarly the comic book but it's not. It just as bad I thought it would be and I can't wait for it to blow over really. I love to watch film and interpret it and all the mediums we've been introduced to in class. Unfortunately I simply don't feel the same way about creating film.

I've seen different kinds of film, different genres and even different languages but this just isn't clicking with me. I guess it makes me that much more excited for the next creative medium. We've done 3d modeling, comic books, music and now movies. What's next?

patient,

Sam E.

I made this blog in class

Not exactly the subtlest title. But it's okay, I'm pretty sure I'm up to date with everything on my blog. The entries are decently sized and I have some good meaning in there. But I'm not sure about all the aesthetics, my page isn't very flashy or doesn't have all the images and other things people have. Is that okay? I'm not really sure. I learned how to cross-fade and downloaded some new applications while learning what to do with Kurtis. I also r received some new assignments from Professor Baldwin. I'm glad about heading this new cell phone media project. It's really my time to shine and display my abilities. Cell phones are something that have always interested me, mine never leaves my sight. The psychology and ergonomics of everything can be applied and to my limited knowledge there isn't much research in the field.


Instead of following the path laid in front of you, find your own.

Sam E.

The speed of sound

This is more or less a continuation of the last post. Girls. Women. Professor Baldwin is always encouraging us to explain and talk about the opposite sex. Why we do the things we do, how we find our mates etc. how our new culture embraces these changes. Would I call myself a womanizer? No. Do I love women? yes. There's something so egotistical in my pursuit of them though, it frightens me. I on more than one occasion; labeled it the bane of my existence. A strong and laughable choice of words at the time but the closer I come to fufilling my dreams the more that statement scares me. It's not physical as far as I know so far, it's more of a stroke. Of the ego. Never been a fan of incredible power, vast riches or anything like that. But the power of women is incredibly alluring. Maybe because of nurture? Perhaps when I would make an earnest attempt at a girl I would be teased of being a ladies man, just as every 5 year old kid would be when an adult found out about it. I would shy away from it but secretly love that attention. If that happens enough times it could provoke a certain mind-set.

Now for the first time with my new found knowledge and readings, attitude and style. I feel like I could put all these thngs into practice. My thoughts and fantasies are becoming tangible, and I'm already beginning to feel dull and predicatble. You know the advice for a situation like this? Dig deeper, see how deep it goes. Everything I read and I still feel like the biggest thing I got out of it is confidence. I fel like every girl wants me, and not in a cockyh way. I know, I know how could those two things go together, it just doesn't make sense. But a lot of thigns don't make sense right now. But maybe that's the way I like things, I'll make my own sense. In Sam's world. My Silver Tongue.

polishing,

Sam E.

Want

or Need. Which do we live our lives by now? Times have changed, water has become a rarity, in it's place carbonated beverages and artificial flavorings. Literature has taken a back seat to TV, why read a book when you can wait for the movie to come out? I can't say I'm not guilty of these crimes. If you can call them crimes. Maybe they're an improvement, since when have the ways of old been the right way? We used to live with racism and ignorance and nobody is complaining now that they're gone. At the same time things just don't improve, it's not that simple. It's not like a sequel that just becomes better 1->2. Some things are gained, some are lost. The universe has a way of balancing it's self out though, nothing is ever lost completely without an equal gain. People die everyday, babies are born everyday. We must not focus on what is seen, what is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal.

focused,

Sam E.

Sick...a bit

Here I am, a little bit under the weather again. having problems breathing, having problems catching my breath. A lot of it is due to last night, I'm dissapointed how he let me down. The part of me that doesn't want to give in because I layed my word down wants someone else to give in. So I have an excuse, a way to cover my tail. Save some face, what ever analogy or euphamism you might prefer. I have a hard time spelling that right....congestion is a terrible feeling. It's like having something there but not being able to use it. To feel it's possibility but have that possibility blocked off. My mind was congested before. It used to be, i felt like I had something I know I could use but didn't have the ability to set it free. Quite cartoonish but I pictured the example of a giant cork with a small string and gets yanked comiclly and all the bad stuff goes down the drain...litearlly.

spelling,

Sam E.

Strength

What does it mean to me? I've heard so many quotes, videos, songs and every possible form of media on it before. Many have said it better than I, before than I have. To me it's what I have on my chest, on my heart. My heart literally beats for it, I breathe it in and out everyday. I know that if I can't do something it says something about me, a weakness. Not about anyone else. For me success is showing up and not giving up. Ever. If I start something I must stick it out. I felt as though I would have so much more to say but perhaps I know everyt...No, there's so much more to it. I can't get cocky and I know that the moment I know something with certainty is the time when I should reconsider what I know or what I'm doing. Maybe it's just my words, my inability to organize my thoughts. Don't want to make excuses, I'm not that kinda guy. But I'll make it, on my quest to find out what it truly means to be Strong.

Push,

Sam E.

Persist

Is what I'm doing. Is that even spelled right? I can't give now. Missed the group meeting again, I have to make more moves for my future. I guess I did need the sleep after all and without my health I won't be able to do anything. I've always wanted o make a portfolio, it's so professional, I remember my Mom's and the idea that I would have one now at my age is both frightening and exciting. I can't be scared of my success, get out fo the shadow and find my own light. I know this will be rewarding if I put the effort in. I still haven't come up with a concept for my video, what could it possibly be. Hopefully I'll have a lot more free time with what happened with last night. Is my fear projecting onto someone else? I want someone else to do it just so I could keep my mouth and hands clean. To save face in every sense of the word. That's not something I want to do but I have doubts, everyone does. I have to learn to deal with them and triumph when I have them or who am I really?

After All,

Sam E.

Practice

makes perfect and nobody is perfect so why practice? Not only am I sacrificing and burning the candle on both ends but I'm not dong well In either. for a matter of fact I should be dressed by now otherwise I'll be late. trying to get everything done, we're already waivering while behind and that isn't good. is till haven't started on my movie, I just don't know where the hours of the day go anymore. I sleep eat and do my night thing and that seems to be all the time there is in the day for. I don't know how to keep everything up. I'm not breaking or anything or getting mentally overwhelmed, It's just an issue of time. Doing all those things is very unlikely. or maybe I could just be making excuses, I tend to try to drift away from excuses. I don't like them and think they're a cop out. And I'm not a cop out so I won't do em'

Figuring it out.

Sam E.

Deus Ex

Distance is short when your hand carries what your eye found.

I should already be working on the movie by now. I'm still not done plotting my comic though. I have much more work then I care for right now. Including my process has HW, can you believe that? I usually do this HW first because I think of it as so leniant and care-free. Just got a flashback of care-free gum large metallic looking 12 packs in the super market. Do they still exist? A lot of things seem to be dissapearing with the state of our economy. What's worse is all people do is talk about it. Family assignments make me feel awkward now, well even more so than before. And lucky for me that's all we've been doing lately. What should My movie be about, what conflict? I know what to do with the comic as soon as I got the guidelines and that small short but where do I go from here. I want many people to read my comic, I'm really proud of it.

Spend it all,

Sam E.

Machina

Don't know how I did it. I stayed up until 8 am yesterday. Slept for 2 hours and then went to bed at 3 after partying. Maybe this whole process really is showing me that I can go with out sleep. I'm tired right now but I'd never thought I'd look at home work for relaxation. It used to be the thing that got me the most frustrated. Now I just want to take a nice break. Think things out and write. Perhaps it's the kind of free thought assignments I have now. Is the bane of my existence really that strong? To compel me to do something like that. I met a random girl I started talking to on the train. My confidence has went way up but my openers are a little off. That's 3 this week...Should I go for 4 tonight. I really want to put my work first....I met my sister's side of the family. they're really nice people and have a great amount of hospitality. There are very few things that should be feared in this life. And I don't encounter them on a daily basis. Most people don't. Anxiety stress and many other negative feelings stem from fear. Fear of punishment, embarasment. I know I didn't spell that right but I'm not scared, nobody reads this after all..

Sitting by the dock of the bay,

Sam E.

Going back?

I almost wrote I was going home. But I don't think it's a place I can call home anymore...I was estatic when I remembered I was getting to be withy friends and drink. I felt worried because for the first time I was looking for alcohol as an escape. Which are tell tale signs of alcoholism...are my group activities rubbing off on me? I hope not negatively, I sought it after for how I could become bettered not get worse. Though I know I control myself, I am the master of my domain. I want to help; but I also want to live for myself. Struggling with identities, of what roles I play: I don't want boy friend to be one of them now. I wish I knew the right and wrong ways to do eerything in life. I'm so used to looking at cheats or some kind of FAQ finding the right answers. I do t know if I hve them anymore and don't k ow if anyone has them for me. The work just keeps piling up but it's okay. I know I'm able to handle it...


Speeding,

Sam E

Not bad

Keeping my head up. Lost one tonight but maybe I gained something too. Working on my psych mid-term, hope too do well. it really means a lot to me. Professor Baldwin reviewed my comic today and I got the positive feed back was looking for. I was re-affirmed with it. I put a ton of heart into that comic and I still am and it's good to know it could possibly be rewarding. Someone In my class was from hills, I got nostalgic. We have to start working on movies really making all different forms of visual things...we used. gimmie a break it's late I know, I know. I don't want to rush the end and want it to be really good but at the same time I want to keep the file size small. Well I guess I can't limit my self if I really want to do well. I feel like this could really go somewhere, I have confidence in my self and my product. Still in the same position despite our loss. I...We could do this.


going on,

Sam E.

Development

My thoughts, ideas, writing and everything else is becoming more refined. I'm developing a different style, growing and changing. It's good to know, for a while I felt as though I was stuck in some place in between destinations. Implacably going nowhere. I'm not going to dwell, on it though. Now is a time for change and action. I must be the change I want to see in the world. In the word of Ghandi. I felt frightened earlier, I began to pray. Try to find my center, solace. Did I find it? I know I performed well but part of me didn't hold up. How should I reduce this dissonance? Apathy, rationalizations, justifications or excuses? Or is the correct thing just to simply acknowledge it?

That's what I attempt to do. I noticed something about both my writing and thoughts. they are mostly open-ended questions. My writing are my thoughts manifested on paper, or rather in this case on the internet. I ask myself questions, I am after all a thinking man but at the same time it may result in uncertainty. But whenever I have a question or uncertainty I ask myself a question to try to find an answer. But Finding an answer with a question isn't always ideal.

Noble Notions,

Sam E.

Homeostasis

Is defined the ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes. I think this is what I'm trying to do right now. Trying to find or maintain an equlibrium is every organism's goal. To adjust with all the obstacles and blow's life throws your way. After all it is the firm oak tree which is the first to snap when strong winds come, whereas the willow blows in the wind. I could fill this whole blog with euphemisms and quotations but instead I'll just have to apply all these things. My comic so far is only 10 pages but the 10 pages are so very strong. I just want to sit down with Professor Baldwin and try to find a way for him to read it.

I also looked up all the definitions for what professor Baldwin requested. Ergonomics is a word I heard a lot from growing up and once I actually found out what it was-optimization of aesthetics in everyday life to my new a limited understanding. It seems great. Media psychology I touched the tip of the iceberg and it also seemed right up with my alley along with the very broad and encompassing environmental psychology. All these possibilities for the future are truly exciting.

head up,

Sam E.

Saturday's of ol' and new

Saturdays have changed their meaning for me as of late. I used to wake up watch cartoons and eat cereal, not even a year ago. But now, everything is so different. I set an alarm on my phone for saturday morning cartoons but I always dismiss it, I don't want to lose the child in me, my old hobbies and things that I thought define me. This saturday was spent differently, waking up late from last night, gym eating and finally the end of the night. Which turned out rather well ; )

I feel ambivalent about what's going on, a little uncertain. Am I losing myself or becoming something completely different? Or perhaps becoming more of what I really am. Either way my path ahead is cloudy and foggy, No. No it's not. The future is uncertain for weak people. For strong people the future is a goal, something to reach. The goal for now--sleep.

good night,

Sam E.

Day 3..9

In for the start of the process. Met a girl recently named Kerry, she's jubilant, cheerful and intelligent. I really want to get to know her better. I'll be seeing watchmen tonight with her. I'm going try my best not to pull any AFC moves and succeed on my goal. I have high hopes for Watchmen, the story is a master piece and if the movie is anything less I'll be really disappointed. Th graphic novel is a classic and touches on so many psychological themes that no work in it's category has accomplished so well. Megan ripped up the pictures I had up of her. That hurts. I have a lot of work to keep up on now that I'm busy most of the time and nights. I have to take full advantage to complete my goals now while I can. I'm really going to put some elbow grease in and get to it.

Working hard,

Sam E.

Leadership

What is leadership exactly? I've been told that I have it before, I've also been told that I lack it. I want to step to a position of power but that would mean I would be alone, isolated. No one would be my peer. I would be looked at for information and guidance but I don't feel much more. Lau Tzu said that to lead someone you must walk behind them, I find that enlightening but don't know how to act on it. How can you lead someone without telling them exactly what to do or subordinating them? I could be nice and soft-spoken but the result is still the same. It must be lonely being on top I think of people even higher than I and feel empathy for them. Is it a test of myself and my abilities or something completely different, a test of my leadership isn't really test of me. It's not just another quality like seeing how funny or smart I am, it's like an alter-ego. A super-hero even. How could Is say no to that? My mind tells me no and how illogical it is but my pride tells me yes.

contemplating,

Sam

The break up, really.

My girlfriend and I really broke up this time for sure. I feel so bad, I was the one to do it but this feeling won't go away. Her words felt like daggers to m hurt how hurtful they were. Hearing her scream and cry and beg and plead made me feel like worse of a person. She said she loved me and then cried that she hates me, is the really love? I told her I loved her and broke up with her, is that really love? I sometimes think with logic too much, very cold and curt I've been told. I knew I wouldn't be marrying her and I felt that I couldn't lead her on anymore and it would only get worse and harder to break up at that point. I need to be alone...I think. I can't care for someone, I might have to be selfish put myself first. I've been doing that in the relationship a bit and I noticed it. I just want to be free, I want to live MY life but don't want anything bad to happen to Megan. I still care about her and will never stop. I spent almost 2 of the most important years of my life with her. I could never forget that, my mom's passing. She was there for me. She's the most important person in my life. I don't talk to anyone as much as I did to her. She was the pillar for me, but I know I could learn to stand on my own.

Confused,

Sam E.

Steady

Catching up and taking it easy now. There's a lot of work to be done. I think discussing a legitimate idea would be better than just having random thoughts and going on tangents. So I'll choose a topic out of thin-air that somehow correlates to...my life. Acceptance, isn't it what we all seek? Don't we feel low when we lose it or try to gain it and fail? It's only human nature an it's unrealistic to say you'll never feel unaccepted or to always feel unaccepted. Every Dog has his day and sometimes the shit hits the fan too. merits and demerits are us actively seeking approval. It's only natural for us as social animals to want to be accepted, to belong somewhere. Sometimes I lack that feeling with such a small family and ethnicity. My sister is especially conflicting with this feeling and she looks to many different countries locations and other people to find herself, or so is my assumption. I don't like to judge. But I find to find your own character who you really are it is all a matter of introspection. Which I do pretty frequently.

bettering,

Sam E.

It's off to work we go

I'm a little behind on my blog, I'll have to make a few entries today. The multi-layered theme in class was very interesting. He said that all these stalkeers and bad things that can and usually do happen on the interenet are multi-layered. Obviously nobody is advertising rape and murder but they use a tactical veneer of social networking web sites or people connecting with technology. So many unfortunate things can arise from it like credit card fraud, spam and phising. Last night was crazy, I already have a journal but I'm sure sometimes I'll end up writing it here too. The stalking that comes from facebook too is undeniabe, people will check out someone's pictures, interests and whatever else they may have. It's a sense of power to watch someone without them able to watch you which is what I learned from one of my earlier media classes. I am going to take full advantage of professor Baldwin's group to get an outstanding portfolio so I could take the first steps to my adult life.


Growing,

Sam E.

SexyLoverBoy34

Was my screen name a few years ago....still is my screen name, e-mail address and account name for most sites. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, it still is, even the account name for this site. I think I got a good amount of finnancial aid, I hope. This blog is going to be pretty much my random thoughts and when I find something worthy to expand upon. I'm fine during my regular routine and course of the day but certain times evoke strong emotions....When people mention families or their mothers sometimes I just feel like giving it all up, so low. I'm wondering what I'm really good at? What's my calling? Some people know what they're going to do the instance they start doing it. With all the different callings there can be and niche interest, magazine and following.

finishing up,

SAm E.

Readings?

I haven't checked much of the readings yet. I'm unsure when they are assigned but if they are half as interesting as what the professor goes on his seemingly random tangents about I would love to learn and think like he did. Though perhaps a bit low-key and put together. Sometimes I feel as though I have all these great ideas but something gets lost in translation. I had this thought earlier and somehow managed to transport it from my head to paper. "I wish I spoke as well as I wrote, and wrote as well as I thought". I hope I didn't steal that from someone but it sounds captivating. I initially assumed having a blog would be a huge release but it turned more into a semi-daily ritual of complaining and lack of motivation. I know I had another entry similar to this but I really have to keep up and get my head on straight now more than ever. I don't have the luxury of video-games for hours and looking up random things on the internet. My entries have even gotten slightly shorter too.

bettering,

Sam E.

Snow Day

Yesterday I was a snow day and I enjoyed the day off. I didn't do much, put the 6th page on my comic. It is going really well, and I'm really proud of my work, I hope the professor feels the same way about it. Tomorrow I also start my fraternity business so I'm trying to get as much work done today as possible. I had an enlightening conversation with Tim, About how the fraternity pledge relationship is similar to the master slave relationship, who really needs whom? I'll have to keep this thought in my head during this whole process.

I still have to look up the topics professor baldwin gave me and finish my comic, it's going to be grand.

Here we go,

Sam E.

Comic LIFE

Last night I stayed up until 5 in the morning working on my comic book and got 5 pages done. I edited the text and the images until I felt just right about them. I feel like I found my first truly rewarding creative outlet in a long time. I felt like I discovered something great because of this class and I hope there is much more to follow. My orpehus inspired story is great, and Is ay that with complete confidence. I incorporated the film noir aspect with the melodrama, the different angles. I feel it's only getting better from here. I have a lot of story to cover and the only person I showed it too my roomate said that it needs a little more entertainment. I'm going to try to incroporate that and I hope the final product will be a good expression of my creativity.

elated,

Sam E.

Going...

Up late again. Catching up with my blog, I'm looking further into the story of Orpheus. A man who possesed incredibly abilities has to rescue his wife Eurydice from Hades. He was legendary with the lyre and was able to charm anyone and anything, even animals and rocks. Eurydice suffers a fatal snake bite and Orpheus has the goal of setting out to save her with just his lyre. He plays melodies sos weet that they lull the guardian of the under world Cerberus to sleep. I'm attempting to form an interesting urban film noir comic style to fit this interpretation of the story. I'm actually very excited to get started on this work. I have read my fair share of graphic novels and film noir is one of my favorite themes. This assignment is where I'll flourish hopefully. but I only have a day and other school work to due, I'm selling myself short. I really should have done more work and managed my time better. Here's to hopes for a good final product.

excelsior!

Sam E.

Big 30

My 30th blog, a reason to celebrate. I still think I need 35 to be adequate. Professor Baldwin brought up an interesting point in class. The difference between a friend and a lover and a classmate of mine said that you can be truthful with a friend, his point was shot down but I felt that he was certainly onto something. I agreed with him but felt his opinion needed a little re-wording. Then I thought of a familiar Oscar Wilde quote that I've grown to appreciate more and more over the years. It goes as follows:

“But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.”
-Oscar Wilde

I notice with my acquaintances my aim is too wooh or please them. But with friends, they are the only people you cn turn to with genuine problems. And if you can't then they probably aren't true friends. Then how does one deal with a lover? With secrecy and deception? I would hope not but the answer lies somewhere in between. Oscar Wilde was a notorious cynic and some time's I find it hard to disagree with his sound logical and witty claims. He said this about the relationship between a man and woman

"A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her."


optimist,

Sam E.

Be-hind

I feel like these blogs have started as a genuine expression of myself and thoughts provoked my visual interpretation class. Now it's become a small chore where I complain about my lack of discipline and excess of school work. I even feel bothered by this at how long it takes because it's so much easier to complain about trivial things than form genuine thoughts. I'll probably begin pledging soon and won't have time for my goals and desires. Is that really what I should be looking for or seeking? These are questions I should be asking myself. I enjoy my classes but realize I won't be able to be as successful as I want in my classes but ideally the reward would be more. I try to find rationality in concepts like these, which has a bigger net gain? In Layman's terms' is the juice worth the squeeze? It's a pretty simple concept I live by and I think logic

I want to make this one longer, a testament to my improvement and if I ever feel the lack of strength or commitment I'll check this for reference.

getting there,

Sam E.

Livin' life like a comic book hero

Well is hero necessarily the right word? Our new assignment was announced, well to me a little late but it's none the less exciting. We have to make comic strips and tell a narrative which is always something I wanted to do but lacked the physical artistic ability to do so. The story of Orpheus is a brilliant and probably the epitome of tragic. I feel like it has a good dynamic and gives way to many possibilities for story telling. We were told to discuss our family dynamics, I don't really have any family dynamics to discuss for the lack of a real family. I also heard from class that I'm a little behind on my blogs, I feel like I've never misssed one so I'll have to double check. I want to do the required work so I can start working on my portfolio, this class has to become closer and closer to my #1 priority. It's really worth it.


gotta keep it up,

Sam E.

Carry you

Struggling with responsibilities again. The past few days I've been taking care of my girlfriend whom has a bad series of migraine's and as a good boy friend it's my responsibility to do whatever I can and break all engagements to take care of her. I could list all the stuff that I've left un done, so I will. Suffice to say I behind in all of my classes (including this one) I have to make a birthday card, go to administration to do my taxes and finn aid, fix my application for studying aborad, call about finding a job, all within the next few days before I start pledging and don't have time for those things. I want to go into it with a clear head, not with all these other things on my mind. I really have to wake up early tomorrow, I hope I'm not too behind in my visual interpretation class. I hate that feeling,

noticeably shorter,

Sam E.

Sick...

This is last night's blog but I woke up sick today. With a heavy lump in my throat. I'm debating whether or not to go to class which is in an hour. I have a presentation for my other class so I'm surely not going however I'm not sure If it would be good for me to go to class. Going out in the cold could make me sicker, and I won't be able to speak but at the same time I don't want to miss class time or fall behind in material, it's a common paradox. Where can I look for guidance on the issue? peers? Meh, parents? No. I guesss I have to figure this out for myself.

recovering,

Sam E.

Finishing up

Trying to finish up this last blog so I can finally get to sleep and get back to all my work including my sketchup museum. I really want to start working on different concepts, like a temple but I don't know how that would relate to my family besides my interests and or likes. I was also contemplating putting a tower of Greece in salonika. I plan on still experimenting with these to see where I can go with it.

Am I what my family is? Am I making my own  family right now? Should I be defined by the actions of those before me or do I stand on my own accord? These are quesitons I have to continue to ask myself...

done,

Sam E.

Ketch up

Fell behind in a slightly hectic past few days. My best friend David's birthday  was yesterday, he was the first one to turn 21. this was a momentous occasion for all of us because  vicariously we all felt that if it was us there, at the center of attention celebrating our own birthday. And that says a lot, recognizing one's own love or ambition in someone else is a great thing. I stayed up til 6 in the morning playing street fighter, drank, deface property and did everything that rambounnxious young men are expected to do. It put a slight halt on my studies but all work and no play makes jack a dull boy right?

working,

Sam E.

Success?!!?

Had a good day in class today. My Escher inspired Museum went well and I got credit. now I just have to make a few more, I guess I succeeded. I handed in everything on time and I've been playing my new video-game for hours and hours now. I'm just trying to make it through tomorrow's classes so I can get back to this. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy as they say and I know my hobby so i might as well enjoy myself despite what my girl friend might say about how Im wasting my life or whatever. Is it a problem to do what you enjoy? I choose to view things esotericlly. If someone was read a lot of books would you look down upon them. I can name something I've learned from every game played. A song heard, something read. Everything included in one of the newest forms of media- video-games.

cheers,

Sam E.

Progression

Making an  earnest attempt to progress with my work. All the other work just keep piling on as of late. Classes, HW ad work on top of that. I just e-mailed professor Baldwin concerning when the museum was due because I could certainly use a few more days with everything thats been coming up lately. I also feel guilty to admit that I'm trying to get as much work done in anticipation for getting a video-game that I've been waiting roughly 9 years for- Street Fighter 4. The art style is reminiscent of a japanese painting complete with brush strokes and all, something I'm a  big fan of.

Here's to success, doing everything I have to do( and well) and then getting enough time for my reward.

kudos

Sam E.

Project progression.

I worked on the first part of my project today, I watched a few youtube videos on how to use sketchup and it really was simple despite how daunting I originally thought it was. I made my first museum piece in under 10 minutes using a MC Escher piece. I'm getting a grasp of the simple tools and I think if I had a wacom tablet it would be even easier. The professor said make 9 but I don't know how practical that is but I thought his motivation was good. He went in depth about the golden rule.

The asymmetry and symmetry of the world, in all aspects. Art, drawings and anything that one may consider aestheticlly appealing. I especially like the idea of the tibetan buddhist Mandalah. The class ended on a high note as well when I discussed the possibility of a resume with the professor baldwin, this is quickly turning out to be one of my favorite classes so far.

the best,

Sam E.

Keep it moving

I'm currently in the library trying to catch up with all the work I hastily put off this entire weekend in favor of...nothing. Usually when I'm not doing my work I know what I'm doing instead--movies, video games etc. but this whole week not only can I not justify why I haven't done work but I can't find why not. Regardless I'm doing it now and I will without a doubt work on sketchup today. I have to. I am mildly excited to start my museum assignment and of the fact that I might have my first follower ( nobody's reading this I'm sure to my relief). I'm here at library with my good friend Angelica, who also has to start a blog for class( I think it's becoming popular) and wants to look at mine for exemplary purposes. Well feast your eyes on how great and articulate my writing is Angelica! tell me what you think later.

Not really but whatever you do, don't look behind you Angelica.

Sam E.

Valentine's Day..?

So before anything it's safe to say I'm going to do what I always do. Question Things. After all, the unexamined life isn't worth living, correct? What's the point of this whole valentine's day?....No that question is too basic, too easily answered. In fact I'll do it right now; to promote spending and spread consumerist holidays would be the cynical, rebellious and typical answer. How much truth does that hold is what I'm curious of. However the practical answer would be a time of the year to appreciate the spouse/loved one in your life or to remind people who are alone that they shouldn't be. I fall into the former category, I have a girlfriend and of course she expects something of me. Did I deliver? Short answer, No.

 I planned a double date with my friend, we had a grand plan of cooking ice skating a little more. We only got to the cooking and made the girls upset. We promised them each another seperate valentine's day. They then surprised us in my girlfriends apartment with rose petals, chocolate and strawberries, candles, music and the whole 9 yards. The girls won valentine's day this year. I'm sick of gender roles that men must spend all the money, make all the planning and appreciate woman completely in hopes of getting lucky. It's ridiculous, I  choose o break the formula, which is the only way to succeed in life in every aspect..

In the air,

Sam E.

4:43 am

I'm Writing this at 4:43 am, as we speak. It's valetin'es day and I'm up plotting what i should be doing tomorrow while my girlfriend is right next door, I'm as sly as a fox. I promised myself today would be the day I would get all the work I had to get done, done but that didn't seem to happen. Instead I wound up drinking and procrastonating, neither accomplished much good. Can I really be this irresponsible? When will I snap out of it and get my priorities straight? I hope soon

shaping up,

Sam E.

The weekend

Still haven't caught up to the work in sketch up yet but I've set a date(tomorrow) to catch up with everything. Including but not limited to my intro to visual interpretation class. I hope my computer pad will be compatible with sketchup, I feel like the orbit and other controls might be too advanced and I may have to get a mouse or something. I also feel like this work is really meant to be done with a wacom tablet, which is what my mom used to use. The controls don't seem to user friendly and I long for an age where you could do what you dream, though it seems like that age is rapidly approaching with the iphone and Wii. 

I want a program that If I want something bigger I could just physiclly stretch it with my hands. But for now I guess I'll have to deal and learn to use all these programs. I'll be sure to detail my first attempt tomorrow.

back in a day,

Sam E.

This is me

Hey,

Missed out on last nights blog and I just wrote it so I guess I better do tonight. I've been messing around with this and was trying to get a picture of me in this post with my macbook, I haven't yet figured it out. I might not be as tech-savy as I like thought I wonder if doing this will do anything at all :file:///Users/lindalevy/Desktop/Photo%2064.jpg

I think that gives a good depiction of my mood and current state of mind. I haven't even gotten to work on my museum because I've been up for the past few hours with a headache trying to help my girlfriend with her literary analysis assignment. I really don't want to even write about how painful it is to watch her struggle with this, she's incredibly spoiled. Regardless, My museum I was hoping to start with an MC escher template because I think it would prove to be very interesting and would help me really get into sketch up while giving me a proper way to get into the intracacies. i was thinking about his piece entitled waterfall.

going down,

SAm E.

Last nights

Last night I wasn't able to make it to write my blog, probably for a no good reason. Just didn't make it back to my room in time or something. Today's class was interesting, because of my late night shenanigans I ended up missing out on the most important part of the lecture where he was explaining sketch up. I fell asleep mid-lecture, it happens sometimes and I'm really not proud of it. He really was right when he said so far all the course has been is word-processing. We're really stepping it up to the big-leagues now with all this spatial and image editing, I was in class and I felt so far behind everyone else.

Was it really because of those 10 minutes I missed dozing? Whatever the reason may be I need to play catch-up and fast. This whole thing is really intimidating and I need to become better and learn this and add to my repitoire of computer knowledge.

see you in 5 minutes,

Sam E.

One foot at a time

So this course is really picking up, I really enjoy the pontification of the professor and the laid back structure. But some of the more soft ware orientated stuff is really intimidating, including the first assignment. The diea of me navigating and using all these incredibly complex programs is a small deterrent but at the same time an exciting challenge. I wasn't able to get the reading materials again but hope any aren't do immediately.  Here's to being hopeful that soeone is reading this and that I'll do fine.

ta,

Sam E.

Running the marathon

I'm keeping up the marathon just as the professor said, trying not to miss a day. Still no word on our project. My camera was dead so I wasn't able to take any pictures. The discussion of some of the ideas are here and I'm featured in a few videos so it should really be fine. I thought it was just like a social psychology experiment, which is my favorite kind. Testing the group dynamics and interactions of different personalities. Testing their suspicions, insecurities and moral dilemmas with the prisoner and game theories. Only because of my knowledge of these theories and their applications did I not fall victim to them.

Now another sunday my procrastination has lead me to leave one too many assignments for monday. Lest I be overwhelmed I'm going to get on the rest of them. I finally uploaded pictures to my flickr account, my youtube has been up, I have second life and the only thing I think I'm missing is processing and GIMP.

success!?

Sam E.

THe break up

I broke up with my girlfriend last night. And I know how much the professor said he wanted us to write about this kinda thing in our blog so here goes. We had a number of difficulties in our relationship. There was a point where I wanted to change her into the woman I wanted but I soon made the realization that it was not the right thing to do. Sure if you want to better someone and help them mature by changing a few bad habits but not their entire person. I got her off drugs, doing well in school and took the abusive boyfriend out of the picture. Of course it wasn't just all me, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. She was willing and improved a great deal her self. I bite of more than I could chew when I tried to stop her from yelling nagging, complaning or wanting to have her way all the time. The boyfriend and drugs are a few years but the behaviors she's learned a a lifetime of conditioning that I wouldn't be able to undo simply because her mind is closed and its like trying to plug a wire into a place that doesn't even have an outlet. All attempts of logic and reasoning fail and she does what she feels or what her emotions tell her to do.

I know it's like I described almost every woman on the earth but the severity of this is overwhelming for me. Is this where nature versus nurture comes in? A hormonal imbalance in females that makes them notorious for emotional and illogical behavior? Or is it just a coincidence that a large percentage of the NY woman I've meet happen to have these attributes? For all I know woman on the other side of the world are known for their calmness and logical thinking. Regardless I must digress and continue to handle the problem at hand.

pondering,

Sam E.

Snooze -_-

Finally reached the weekend. Sometimes I feel I don't live day to day but weekend to weekend, I'm not sure if that's a bad or good thing. I usually procrastinate to the end of the week and leave everything to do then and just end up relaxing. I think a step of maturity is to get past this phase. I'm still anticipating the first session of school kinda. Most of my classes had their first quiz or some sort of evaluation. I really want to work again and I'm also looking forward to pledging a frat, my life has been slightly dull lately and could use some spice.

Variety is what keeps things interesting and Im hoping of seeing new experiences.

tab,

Sam E.

WIN!!?!?

I really hope our team won and got the A for the day. I think what our team did was quite ingenious and was a plan I had sicne the mentioning of the assignment but for some reason I didn't speak up. I guess that'll be a lesson to me. I loved the aspect of the prisoner's dilema which I also recently learned about in social psychology. It was executed perfectly in Dark Knight and funnily enough happened today. People assumed we were being double crossed which lead our team to take negative action just by thinking too much and our own insecurties!

I tried to be the voice of reason in the group and I think I succeded and our performance will be judged accordingly.

ta!

Sam E.

Compete to win?

Tomorrow afternoon is the day of the competition. I'm a bit taken back by how obtuse this assignment is but I hope it will be a fresh and rewarding experience. I'm not the sort of person to go rogue, I think it's a selfish act but for the professors benefit does add an interesting dynamic. I would find it to be much more rewarding to be a leader of an entire team of people. I may have some technological difficulties because of using my girl friends pink camera (whihc she recently gave to me because she got a new one) so Ill have to be sharpest. I looked up game theory, which I recently learned in my social psychology class. Through my data mining I was able to find a few definitions; some pertaining to math, philosophy and psychology as well. To give a definition of my own understanding I believe it's when the analysis of players/people form a different product then expected because of the interacting of their dynamics.

I'll be sure to write back to critique the assignment and of course--my performance.

Sam E.

Late Night, Early morning?

This'll have to be last night's entry. Class was very interesting, the idea of the scavanager picture hunt type game isn't too appealing but none the less it's refreshing to see a professor do something completely different that hasn't been done before. The literary, historical and pop culture references that the professor spewed were pretty incredible, not only did he know important theories and literary classics but also kept up with movies and TV. I found myself barely keeping up and I couldn't help but think what the other students were thinking.

I'm back to my room so I have the edward Bernays quote as promised: "...While most people respond to their world instinctively-without thought-there exist an "intelligent few" who have been charged with the responsibility of contemplating and influencing the tide of history." That's a quote I cut out from a reading a few years ago, maybe in my freshman year and I always found it to be true. I hope none may think it's elitist of me but I fully agree with that statement. I also have all the pictures but I'm unsure if I should load them up here or not. I think the best place is my flickr account so I'll go do that now.

until tonight,

Sam E.

Procrastination (part 1 of many)

With all the hype of super bowl sunday I couldn't help but accomplish absolutely nothing. I watched the last quarter as I usually do, a TV movie and read a quaint antiquated play for my american theatre class. I scanned the pictures of my family (with the help of my girlfriend) and rather than divulge what I learned here I think it would be more efficient to save that for the designated assignment.

 I noticed the rampant appeal of sex is still painstakingly obvious in our culture; the epitome of this being the super bowl. Where ADs cost millions and the quickest way to your reach your audience: T and A. Can you blame the execs and advertisers for knowing their audience? Hardly in my opinion, there's an Edward Bernays quote that goes perfectly with this. It's late and I'll have to find it later...

Good

Night

Sam E.

Late Nights

 So I've yet to get the material. Small computer issues but it will be done. I asked my grandmother about the family pictures and surprisingly there are more at my disposal than I thought. I grew up without much cultural identity so I assumed there was nothing there but it'll be nice to find out with the upcoming assignment.

I'm especially tired and didn't even do the HW I told myself I would do, instead I stayed up looking at cars. I don't even know how to drive yet and I'm getting ahead of myself. This dilema was something I never thought I'd have to confront living in the city. But now my circumstances have greatly changed and it's sitting right in front of me everyday. I'm immobile, the social stauts, adult responsibility and opportunities all evade me. I know what drives me, but how am I going to drive?

good night,

Sam E.

The continuation

I'm curious what the exact purpose of this exercise in blog writing is. I know it can positively influence an array of areas. However, for the purpose of this class I'm curious as to what the goal professor Baldwin had in mind. Is it to improve writing skills? Unlikely. Is it to get in touch with your emotions? Sounds a bit too unorthodox. Or maybe it is to get in the lifestyle that is involved with all this software and "computing" for lack of a better word.

I find it refreshing to write these things down, despite my pre-conceived notions that is was only for self-absorbed people( I'm not completely removed from that idea). A part of me wants someone to take notice of these thought and writings, after all. Isn't that what's this for? But another doesn't want them to be completely broadcasted to everyone and have people read my thoughts without me reading theirs. Usually when two people meet there is a mutual exchange of information and dependence. When someone reads your writing, it's a bit vouyeuristic( to take a favorite word of the professors). That person has a power over you, however small or large and that's not a position I like to be put in.

running the marathon,

Sam E.

First week of classes done

It's an accomplished feeling to know the first week is done. Though with all this comes even more, books to buy, assignments to complete and  much much more. I ran into an interesting situation today. I felt obliged to mention it here because of how professor Baldwin stressed arguments with your girlfriend are applicable to blogs. So I got into an argument with my girlfriend about how I don't tell her anything and how I put my friends over her every time.

here's where the interesting part comes in: my best friend broke up with his girl friend  and I told my girlfriend to make sure I avoided the issue of me not telling her enough. She then tells her best friend which causes an issue because she gets mad at her boy friend(whom is also my friend) and long story short  a whole issue arises between multiple couples and how self-absorbed they are when someone breaks up and all they care about is how nobody told them. All people who are supposedly best friends. It's absurd and how self-involved people can be and not take notice to others. This is a large issue and thought of mine whihc I'll be sure to expand upon a little later. 

to be continued..

Sam E.

2nd day of classes

The 2nd class was a little more than similar to the first class. For valid reasons too, a slew of new students came in. I've got a better grasp on what these entries should be on. Analyzing everyday life with the inclusion of texts from class. Currently I'm still without texts so this'll be a bit of a challenge. I look forward to this improving my writing skills because I commonly find myself at a loss of making the translation from my brilliant (I'm also modest) analytical thoughts from my mind to paper. Something just gets lost in translation. I hope to look back on this early entry and compare it to my later ones and see how far I've come.

It's quite funny how my main topic of discussion in my blog has been....blogging. I wonder what makes someone go out of their way to write their thoughts. Perhaps I come from an entirely different sub-culture where this idea was unacceptable. Or perhaps it's nature and exposing my thoughts for everyone is a vulnerability that I would rather choose not to do. For whatever reason, now I'm doing it. And doing it well (song)

next night,

Sam E.

Onto 100...

Day two it is, I've had a little trouble downloading all the software but I'll keep trying since I know it's required of me and I hope it will all prove to be rewarding in the end when I learn all these skills. I haven't always been a computer savy person in terms of the technological aspects. I  can fix common problems people have through common sense and navigating menus but other than that I wouldn't say I'm a computer person despite that my friends may think of me as  such. So that's a skill I hope to gain through this class. The computer is akin to a musical instrument, skills with it greatly vary except is much more commonly used, practical and can even be used to make music. Perhaps it wasn't the best comparison.

It's still slightly awkward writing to myself but I assume I'll get past it soon. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's class and curious to find what professor baldwin plans to do with the family pictures.

 

I should have made this noble nocturnal notions, it has a better ring to it.

tomorrow,

Sam E.

First Day of classes

Hello,

I've never done this blog thing. I always found it a little contradictory, private thoughts and the purpose is for everyone to see them? Why not just say these thoughts to the people whom they pertain to? I'm also under the impression that they must be for people who are incredibly self-absorbed and when they aren't thinking about themselves they must write about themselves. However I've been proven wrong many more than once through hands-on experience and giving things a try that I thought served no point or weren't for me.

I'm also more than willing to give it a try after the first class, I was actually inspired to get all the work done (despite these blog being a few hours late) with an enthusiastic, knowledgeable and prolific professor. I'm very excited for the venue at the end of the year and majoring in media along with psychology. I've had a good vibe from most of my classes but this one seems the strongest. Time will only tell.

until tonight.

Sam E.