My girlfriend and I really broke up this time for sure. I feel so bad, I was the one to do it but this feeling won't go away. Her words felt like daggers to m hurt how hurtful they were. Hearing her scream and cry and beg and plead made me feel like worse of a person. She said she loved me and then cried that she hates me, is the really love? I told her I loved her and broke up with her, is that really love? I sometimes think with logic too much, very cold and curt I've been told. I knew I wouldn't be marrying her and I felt that I couldn't lead her on anymore and it would only get worse and harder to break up at that point. I need to be alone...I think. I can't care for someone, I might have to be selfish put myself first. I've been doing that in the relationship a bit and I noticed it. I just want to be free, I want to live MY life but don't want anything bad to happen to Megan. I still care about her and will never stop. I spent almost 2 of the most important years of my life with her. I could never forget that, my mom's passing. She was there for me. She's the most important person in my life. I don't talk to anyone as much as I did to her. She was the pillar for me, but I know I could learn to stand on my own.
Confused,
Sam E.
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