Big 30

My 30th blog, a reason to celebrate. I still think I need 35 to be adequate. Professor Baldwin brought up an interesting point in class. The difference between a friend and a lover and a classmate of mine said that you can be truthful with a friend, his point was shot down but I felt that he was certainly onto something. I agreed with him but felt his opinion needed a little re-wording. Then I thought of a familiar Oscar Wilde quote that I've grown to appreciate more and more over the years. It goes as follows:

“But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.”
-Oscar Wilde

I notice with my acquaintances my aim is too wooh or please them. But with friends, they are the only people you cn turn to with genuine problems. And if you can't then they probably aren't true friends. Then how does one deal with a lover? With secrecy and deception? I would hope not but the answer lies somewhere in between. Oscar Wilde was a notorious cynic and some time's I find it hard to disagree with his sound logical and witty claims. He said this about the relationship between a man and woman

"A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her."


optimist,

Sam E.

Be-hind

I feel like these blogs have started as a genuine expression of myself and thoughts provoked my visual interpretation class. Now it's become a small chore where I complain about my lack of discipline and excess of school work. I even feel bothered by this at how long it takes because it's so much easier to complain about trivial things than form genuine thoughts. I'll probably begin pledging soon and won't have time for my goals and desires. Is that really what I should be looking for or seeking? These are questions I should be asking myself. I enjoy my classes but realize I won't be able to be as successful as I want in my classes but ideally the reward would be more. I try to find rationality in concepts like these, which has a bigger net gain? In Layman's terms' is the juice worth the squeeze? It's a pretty simple concept I live by and I think logic

I want to make this one longer, a testament to my improvement and if I ever feel the lack of strength or commitment I'll check this for reference.

getting there,

Sam E.

Livin' life like a comic book hero

Well is hero necessarily the right word? Our new assignment was announced, well to me a little late but it's none the less exciting. We have to make comic strips and tell a narrative which is always something I wanted to do but lacked the physical artistic ability to do so. The story of Orpheus is a brilliant and probably the epitome of tragic. I feel like it has a good dynamic and gives way to many possibilities for story telling. We were told to discuss our family dynamics, I don't really have any family dynamics to discuss for the lack of a real family. I also heard from class that I'm a little behind on my blogs, I feel like I've never misssed one so I'll have to double check. I want to do the required work so I can start working on my portfolio, this class has to become closer and closer to my #1 priority. It's really worth it.


gotta keep it up,

Sam E.

Carry you

Struggling with responsibilities again. The past few days I've been taking care of my girlfriend whom has a bad series of migraine's and as a good boy friend it's my responsibility to do whatever I can and break all engagements to take care of her. I could list all the stuff that I've left un done, so I will. Suffice to say I behind in all of my classes (including this one) I have to make a birthday card, go to administration to do my taxes and finn aid, fix my application for studying aborad, call about finding a job, all within the next few days before I start pledging and don't have time for those things. I want to go into it with a clear head, not with all these other things on my mind. I really have to wake up early tomorrow, I hope I'm not too behind in my visual interpretation class. I hate that feeling,

noticeably shorter,

Sam E.

Sick...

This is last night's blog but I woke up sick today. With a heavy lump in my throat. I'm debating whether or not to go to class which is in an hour. I have a presentation for my other class so I'm surely not going however I'm not sure If it would be good for me to go to class. Going out in the cold could make me sicker, and I won't be able to speak but at the same time I don't want to miss class time or fall behind in material, it's a common paradox. Where can I look for guidance on the issue? peers? Meh, parents? No. I guesss I have to figure this out for myself.

recovering,

Sam E.

Finishing up

Trying to finish up this last blog so I can finally get to sleep and get back to all my work including my sketchup museum. I really want to start working on different concepts, like a temple but I don't know how that would relate to my family besides my interests and or likes. I was also contemplating putting a tower of Greece in salonika. I plan on still experimenting with these to see where I can go with it.

Am I what my family is? Am I making my own  family right now? Should I be defined by the actions of those before me or do I stand on my own accord? These are quesitons I have to continue to ask myself...

done,

Sam E.

Ketch up

Fell behind in a slightly hectic past few days. My best friend David's birthday  was yesterday, he was the first one to turn 21. this was a momentous occasion for all of us because  vicariously we all felt that if it was us there, at the center of attention celebrating our own birthday. And that says a lot, recognizing one's own love or ambition in someone else is a great thing. I stayed up til 6 in the morning playing street fighter, drank, deface property and did everything that rambounnxious young men are expected to do. It put a slight halt on my studies but all work and no play makes jack a dull boy right?

working,

Sam E.

Success?!!?

Had a good day in class today. My Escher inspired Museum went well and I got credit. now I just have to make a few more, I guess I succeeded. I handed in everything on time and I've been playing my new video-game for hours and hours now. I'm just trying to make it through tomorrow's classes so I can get back to this. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy as they say and I know my hobby so i might as well enjoy myself despite what my girl friend might say about how Im wasting my life or whatever. Is it a problem to do what you enjoy? I choose to view things esotericlly. If someone was read a lot of books would you look down upon them. I can name something I've learned from every game played. A song heard, something read. Everything included in one of the newest forms of media- video-games.

cheers,

Sam E.

Progression

Making an  earnest attempt to progress with my work. All the other work just keep piling on as of late. Classes, HW ad work on top of that. I just e-mailed professor Baldwin concerning when the museum was due because I could certainly use a few more days with everything thats been coming up lately. I also feel guilty to admit that I'm trying to get as much work done in anticipation for getting a video-game that I've been waiting roughly 9 years for- Street Fighter 4. The art style is reminiscent of a japanese painting complete with brush strokes and all, something I'm a  big fan of.

Here's to success, doing everything I have to do( and well) and then getting enough time for my reward.

kudos

Sam E.

Project progression.

I worked on the first part of my project today, I watched a few youtube videos on how to use sketchup and it really was simple despite how daunting I originally thought it was. I made my first museum piece in under 10 minutes using a MC Escher piece. I'm getting a grasp of the simple tools and I think if I had a wacom tablet it would be even easier. The professor said make 9 but I don't know how practical that is but I thought his motivation was good. He went in depth about the golden rule.

The asymmetry and symmetry of the world, in all aspects. Art, drawings and anything that one may consider aestheticlly appealing. I especially like the idea of the tibetan buddhist Mandalah. The class ended on a high note as well when I discussed the possibility of a resume with the professor baldwin, this is quickly turning out to be one of my favorite classes so far.

the best,

Sam E.

Keep it moving

I'm currently in the library trying to catch up with all the work I hastily put off this entire weekend in favor of...nothing. Usually when I'm not doing my work I know what I'm doing instead--movies, video games etc. but this whole week not only can I not justify why I haven't done work but I can't find why not. Regardless I'm doing it now and I will without a doubt work on sketchup today. I have to. I am mildly excited to start my museum assignment and of the fact that I might have my first follower ( nobody's reading this I'm sure to my relief). I'm here at library with my good friend Angelica, who also has to start a blog for class( I think it's becoming popular) and wants to look at mine for exemplary purposes. Well feast your eyes on how great and articulate my writing is Angelica! tell me what you think later.

Not really but whatever you do, don't look behind you Angelica.

Sam E.

Valentine's Day..?

So before anything it's safe to say I'm going to do what I always do. Question Things. After all, the unexamined life isn't worth living, correct? What's the point of this whole valentine's day?....No that question is too basic, too easily answered. In fact I'll do it right now; to promote spending and spread consumerist holidays would be the cynical, rebellious and typical answer. How much truth does that hold is what I'm curious of. However the practical answer would be a time of the year to appreciate the spouse/loved one in your life or to remind people who are alone that they shouldn't be. I fall into the former category, I have a girlfriend and of course she expects something of me. Did I deliver? Short answer, No.

 I planned a double date with my friend, we had a grand plan of cooking ice skating a little more. We only got to the cooking and made the girls upset. We promised them each another seperate valentine's day. They then surprised us in my girlfriends apartment with rose petals, chocolate and strawberries, candles, music and the whole 9 yards. The girls won valentine's day this year. I'm sick of gender roles that men must spend all the money, make all the planning and appreciate woman completely in hopes of getting lucky. It's ridiculous, I  choose o break the formula, which is the only way to succeed in life in every aspect..

In the air,

Sam E.

4:43 am

I'm Writing this at 4:43 am, as we speak. It's valetin'es day and I'm up plotting what i should be doing tomorrow while my girlfriend is right next door, I'm as sly as a fox. I promised myself today would be the day I would get all the work I had to get done, done but that didn't seem to happen. Instead I wound up drinking and procrastonating, neither accomplished much good. Can I really be this irresponsible? When will I snap out of it and get my priorities straight? I hope soon

shaping up,

Sam E.

The weekend

Still haven't caught up to the work in sketch up yet but I've set a date(tomorrow) to catch up with everything. Including but not limited to my intro to visual interpretation class. I hope my computer pad will be compatible with sketchup, I feel like the orbit and other controls might be too advanced and I may have to get a mouse or something. I also feel like this work is really meant to be done with a wacom tablet, which is what my mom used to use. The controls don't seem to user friendly and I long for an age where you could do what you dream, though it seems like that age is rapidly approaching with the iphone and Wii. 

I want a program that If I want something bigger I could just physiclly stretch it with my hands. But for now I guess I'll have to deal and learn to use all these programs. I'll be sure to detail my first attempt tomorrow.

back in a day,

Sam E.

This is me

Hey,

Missed out on last nights blog and I just wrote it so I guess I better do tonight. I've been messing around with this and was trying to get a picture of me in this post with my macbook, I haven't yet figured it out. I might not be as tech-savy as I like thought I wonder if doing this will do anything at all :file:///Users/lindalevy/Desktop/Photo%2064.jpg

I think that gives a good depiction of my mood and current state of mind. I haven't even gotten to work on my museum because I've been up for the past few hours with a headache trying to help my girlfriend with her literary analysis assignment. I really don't want to even write about how painful it is to watch her struggle with this, she's incredibly spoiled. Regardless, My museum I was hoping to start with an MC escher template because I think it would prove to be very interesting and would help me really get into sketch up while giving me a proper way to get into the intracacies. i was thinking about his piece entitled waterfall.

going down,

SAm E.

Last nights

Last night I wasn't able to make it to write my blog, probably for a no good reason. Just didn't make it back to my room in time or something. Today's class was interesting, because of my late night shenanigans I ended up missing out on the most important part of the lecture where he was explaining sketch up. I fell asleep mid-lecture, it happens sometimes and I'm really not proud of it. He really was right when he said so far all the course has been is word-processing. We're really stepping it up to the big-leagues now with all this spatial and image editing, I was in class and I felt so far behind everyone else.

Was it really because of those 10 minutes I missed dozing? Whatever the reason may be I need to play catch-up and fast. This whole thing is really intimidating and I need to become better and learn this and add to my repitoire of computer knowledge.

see you in 5 minutes,

Sam E.

One foot at a time

So this course is really picking up, I really enjoy the pontification of the professor and the laid back structure. But some of the more soft ware orientated stuff is really intimidating, including the first assignment. The diea of me navigating and using all these incredibly complex programs is a small deterrent but at the same time an exciting challenge. I wasn't able to get the reading materials again but hope any aren't do immediately.  Here's to being hopeful that soeone is reading this and that I'll do fine.

ta,

Sam E.

Running the marathon

I'm keeping up the marathon just as the professor said, trying not to miss a day. Still no word on our project. My camera was dead so I wasn't able to take any pictures. The discussion of some of the ideas are here and I'm featured in a few videos so it should really be fine. I thought it was just like a social psychology experiment, which is my favorite kind. Testing the group dynamics and interactions of different personalities. Testing their suspicions, insecurities and moral dilemmas with the prisoner and game theories. Only because of my knowledge of these theories and their applications did I not fall victim to them.

Now another sunday my procrastination has lead me to leave one too many assignments for monday. Lest I be overwhelmed I'm going to get on the rest of them. I finally uploaded pictures to my flickr account, my youtube has been up, I have second life and the only thing I think I'm missing is processing and GIMP.

success!?

Sam E.

THe break up

I broke up with my girlfriend last night. And I know how much the professor said he wanted us to write about this kinda thing in our blog so here goes. We had a number of difficulties in our relationship. There was a point where I wanted to change her into the woman I wanted but I soon made the realization that it was not the right thing to do. Sure if you want to better someone and help them mature by changing a few bad habits but not their entire person. I got her off drugs, doing well in school and took the abusive boyfriend out of the picture. Of course it wasn't just all me, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. She was willing and improved a great deal her self. I bite of more than I could chew when I tried to stop her from yelling nagging, complaning or wanting to have her way all the time. The boyfriend and drugs are a few years but the behaviors she's learned a a lifetime of conditioning that I wouldn't be able to undo simply because her mind is closed and its like trying to plug a wire into a place that doesn't even have an outlet. All attempts of logic and reasoning fail and she does what she feels or what her emotions tell her to do.

I know it's like I described almost every woman on the earth but the severity of this is overwhelming for me. Is this where nature versus nurture comes in? A hormonal imbalance in females that makes them notorious for emotional and illogical behavior? Or is it just a coincidence that a large percentage of the NY woman I've meet happen to have these attributes? For all I know woman on the other side of the world are known for their calmness and logical thinking. Regardless I must digress and continue to handle the problem at hand.

pondering,

Sam E.

Snooze -_-

Finally reached the weekend. Sometimes I feel I don't live day to day but weekend to weekend, I'm not sure if that's a bad or good thing. I usually procrastinate to the end of the week and leave everything to do then and just end up relaxing. I think a step of maturity is to get past this phase. I'm still anticipating the first session of school kinda. Most of my classes had their first quiz or some sort of evaluation. I really want to work again and I'm also looking forward to pledging a frat, my life has been slightly dull lately and could use some spice.

Variety is what keeps things interesting and Im hoping of seeing new experiences.

tab,

Sam E.

WIN!!?!?

I really hope our team won and got the A for the day. I think what our team did was quite ingenious and was a plan I had sicne the mentioning of the assignment but for some reason I didn't speak up. I guess that'll be a lesson to me. I loved the aspect of the prisoner's dilema which I also recently learned about in social psychology. It was executed perfectly in Dark Knight and funnily enough happened today. People assumed we were being double crossed which lead our team to take negative action just by thinking too much and our own insecurties!

I tried to be the voice of reason in the group and I think I succeded and our performance will be judged accordingly.

ta!

Sam E.

Compete to win?

Tomorrow afternoon is the day of the competition. I'm a bit taken back by how obtuse this assignment is but I hope it will be a fresh and rewarding experience. I'm not the sort of person to go rogue, I think it's a selfish act but for the professors benefit does add an interesting dynamic. I would find it to be much more rewarding to be a leader of an entire team of people. I may have some technological difficulties because of using my girl friends pink camera (whihc she recently gave to me because she got a new one) so Ill have to be sharpest. I looked up game theory, which I recently learned in my social psychology class. Through my data mining I was able to find a few definitions; some pertaining to math, philosophy and psychology as well. To give a definition of my own understanding I believe it's when the analysis of players/people form a different product then expected because of the interacting of their dynamics.

I'll be sure to write back to critique the assignment and of course--my performance.

Sam E.

Late Night, Early morning?

This'll have to be last night's entry. Class was very interesting, the idea of the scavanager picture hunt type game isn't too appealing but none the less it's refreshing to see a professor do something completely different that hasn't been done before. The literary, historical and pop culture references that the professor spewed were pretty incredible, not only did he know important theories and literary classics but also kept up with movies and TV. I found myself barely keeping up and I couldn't help but think what the other students were thinking.

I'm back to my room so I have the edward Bernays quote as promised: "...While most people respond to their world instinctively-without thought-there exist an "intelligent few" who have been charged with the responsibility of contemplating and influencing the tide of history." That's a quote I cut out from a reading a few years ago, maybe in my freshman year and I always found it to be true. I hope none may think it's elitist of me but I fully agree with that statement. I also have all the pictures but I'm unsure if I should load them up here or not. I think the best place is my flickr account so I'll go do that now.

until tonight,

Sam E.

Procrastination (part 1 of many)

With all the hype of super bowl sunday I couldn't help but accomplish absolutely nothing. I watched the last quarter as I usually do, a TV movie and read a quaint antiquated play for my american theatre class. I scanned the pictures of my family (with the help of my girlfriend) and rather than divulge what I learned here I think it would be more efficient to save that for the designated assignment.

 I noticed the rampant appeal of sex is still painstakingly obvious in our culture; the epitome of this being the super bowl. Where ADs cost millions and the quickest way to your reach your audience: T and A. Can you blame the execs and advertisers for knowing their audience? Hardly in my opinion, there's an Edward Bernays quote that goes perfectly with this. It's late and I'll have to find it later...

Good

Night

Sam E.